How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
