She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We are two peas in an std pod
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
