is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Your cock deserves a montage
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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