I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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