Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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