Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
