So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
