ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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