I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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