Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my being single is dangerous.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
