ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
All the doctor said was why
Randomize