Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
