you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
