she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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