I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
