I just made out with a guy for $7.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
