i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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