why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
