first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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