he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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