I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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