got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
