Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
