My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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