Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
