Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
