i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
