I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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