I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
