yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so explain again why im purple
no
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
