Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
