btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
