An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize