I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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