hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I lost the right to judge tonight
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
