i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
