She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
