We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
