I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
