She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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