I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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