Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
