McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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