U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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