I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Never joke about your clitoris.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
