Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
