your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
