Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
