I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize