..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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