i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
