that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
