Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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