The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
