you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
