she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
